Allow me to introduce myself....

Alright boys & girls,

The name is Dash...I DON'T enjoy long walks on the beach because I was raised to walk with a purpose. Those that don't walk with a purpose tend to get marked late, put extra mileage on their sneakers, and occasionally get raped in back alleys. I prefer to check the "none of the above" box. I DON'T like candle lit dinners. In the unfortunate event I have undercooked some chicken, in a dimly lit setting I may not notice; thus...I die.  Can't have that, now...

I could probably go on and on about things I do not like. Being this is my blog, you will most likely come to understand that I don't like a lot of things. Furthermore, there are few things in this world that give me pleasure than paying a delivery guy in nickels.  The face he makes is priceless when I hit him with the, "85...90...95...a dollar. Hold that. 5...10...".  I'm from Jersey, but I don't enjoy the beach.  Although, I do enjoy getting chased out of shops lining the boardwalk because I've spilled slurpee on merchandise I refuse to purchase.

Some people do things simply to meet an objective or accomplish a task. Others do things simply "just because". Either way, I enjoy watching "things" happen for whatever reason. However, the way my brain is wired, I tend to see things that most people don't see; or I may see everything that you see, but understand its significance in a way you would never think. Either way, I have amused myself for roughly 20 years by experiencing this conundrum we call "LIFE". And I don't mean that stupid board game with the fucked up rainbow wheel that spins off the board and into your lap every time you really just want a "6". (Side note: real boardgames use dice...eh...with the exception of Trouble.  Now that's a game that started off with good intentions by naming it "Trouble" but then started down a slippery slope thinking it would be creative to put the dice in a fucking bubble. A bubble?!?! You know what starts trouble, hombre: when you open the box and you've realized a prepubescent Dash has colored that restrictive bubble with a god damn sharpie marker.) I digress...

Boys and girls, a lot happens everyday, and I simply am a witness...how I interpret things is simply how I see them. But please believe, in your black and white world, a guy like me has to have some kind of technicolored fun. So please, stay tuned as I play the statue and observe this American culture, and merely break it down how only I see fit...

p.s....I would NEVER under cook chicken...