T-Pain, you're pissin' me off...

(sigh)...

you know, I enjoy Hip Hop music. In all actuality, I enjoy multiple genres of music. But Hip Hop is one that I must say I enjoy the most. With that, I have noticed that Hip Hop (like any genre of music, literature, film, etc.) goes through eras. The year is 2008, and apparently this would be "The T-Pain Era" where this bleach blond dreadlocked having coon has reincarnated the Zapp Band and the talk box. In 2005, Mr. Pain came on the scene with "I'm Sprung" and introduced a whole new generation to a voice that seemed impossible to achieve. It was like a robot, an angel, and some nails to a chalkboard went into a studio (one obviously not shut down by Diddy) and gang banged the Blue Opera alien woman from the movie The Fifth Element (check that out by the way). Anyway, the sound was incredibly "unique" and made 12 year old boys going through puberty feel a little more comfortable with themselves. Well now it's 2008, the T-Pain'in isn't so unique anymore, and no longer does T-Pain have to "sing" on your track to get you a hit. Now, for roughly $200 you can own your very own talk box and pop out a hit single in the T-Pain voice. And by listening to the radio today, you having that T-Pain voice is the prerequisite for airplay.  Immediately following this single will be the remix which T-Pain (and indubitably, Lil Wayne) will be featured because that's what's good in the streets...Hip Hop is almost at its demise now when every album out has either T-Pain featured, or the artist simply rapping in the T-Pain voice. It's like everyone wants to play with the T-Pain voice. I swear to FUCKING god, if I'm watching TV, and I hear this voice in a Swiffer commercial, nothing will hold my wrath...

T-Pain...I hate you. I hate your top hat (because I didn't think of it first). I hate your grillz; not so much because you have them but more so because of the fact that I can now spell grills with a "z".  Wikipedia ACTUALLY has taken the liberty to define this shit! I hate how you find it necessary to pop and lock in every video regardless of song tempo. I hate the fact that not even your mother can verify if, in fact, you have eyes or not. (ah, NOTE TO NIGGAS: there's a song called "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night." How about you all go and remix that shit like a nigga version of "We Are the World" and let everyone in the club know why exactly, you find it necessary to sleep in sunglasses.) I hate the fact that you have become the new Nate Dogg. At least Nate Dogg SANG; moreover, if you called Nate Dogg a hook-man, he probably would have agreed, after he slapped you. I sincerely hate you because you wore a "T-Wayne" shirt at the B.E.T. Awards this year. In my humble opinion and in the voice of Riley Freeman: "eeewww nigga you gay!" T-Pain, save your money.


You ever heard of Lil John? No? How about reggaeton? Nothing? ah well...