A Letter to Black America...

Here we are, finally. I am sitting in my living room writing this post on the Eve of the 2008 Presidential Election. Tomorrow on November 4, 2008 history will ultimately be made. Either the Republican Party creates history and seats a woman in the Vice Presidential position or the democrats will forever be able to claim it is the party of the first black president. Nation, tomorrow is a great day indeed; however I guarantee regardless of the outcome on November 4, 2008, it will be the events of the remainder of the week that will live in infamy. Look, normally I write posts simply to make others laugh; this post does not have that objective entirely. In fact, this may be one of my most ignorant posts to date, but I feel its topics need to be brought to the attention of America. So, without further ado, this is my letter to a select few of Americans:

Dear Black People,
I will begin with this: I think we can agree that if Senator McCain wins tomorrow it will indeed be yet another stolen victory for the Republican Party. It was sad in 2004 and it will feel 10 times as worse if it happens again in 2008. Never has America been so close to putting a Black man in the highest office of the land. Not only is he a Black man, Obama is also incredibly charismatic, educated, motivated, and eager for leadership of a nation in tumultuous times. He was not a last minute candidate thrown on the ballot. Remember back to the primaries where it looked like if you were a democrat you could run for the democratic ballot? How many candidates did the Democratic primaries start with again? Let us not forget that some of the same people that are quick to throw on a “Barack the Vote” t-shirt today were thoroughly supportive of Hilary Clinton when she was attacking his experience. So, we (and by “we” I mean Americans…not just black people) truly have someone running that is worth voting, and not just the lesser of two evils as was the case in ‘04. So I guess it’s imperative that everyone who wants an Obama administration get out there and vote. What do I not endorse? In the event Senator McCain wins, Black America: do not get enraged and decide to destroy everything. Look back at the Rodney King verdict. We do not need a Black nation deciding to cry “fuck it” as we burn our communities down for the remainder of the week because we were robbed by the Man again. Think. Who really wants the icing of another stolen victory to be “McCain brings peace to the streets after election riots”? I’m not saying don’t be disheartened by a possible McCain win tomorrow. I’m saying don’t give White America a reason to make John McCain and Sarah Palin tragic heroes instead of thieves.

Now, on the flip side: in the event Obama receives this deserved victory, BLACK PEOPLE JUST GO IN THE HOUSE! Let me make this next statement very clear: Barack Obama is not (I repeat, IS NOT) O.J. Simpson. They may have the same walk but I assure you, if Black America reacts to the election results like we did for the verdict of the O.J. trial, it will be a terrible look. This is not the Super Bowl or the World Series. Do not be a “nigga” and end up on the evening news hanging from a light post. Do not be a “nigga” and call out of work on Wednesday simply because “we got a black president now.” Do not be a “nigga” and make up any dances that have “Obama” in its title. If I so much as hear of an Obama Samba, I will become a terrorist and only target Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevards around the nation. I promise. Black America, if we are so lucky to get a Black Man as Commander in Chief, don’t you think we should do our best to NOT make it difficult for him? Expectations are high enough. Don’t make this man declare martial law because “niggas” are making him look bad. Furthermore, do you know how embarrassing it will be if his first address to the nation has to with him sitting behind a desk and his opening statement starts with, “Niggas, it’s time to cut the shit…”? I know I will feel rather empowered should Obama win this election. Will I decide to set flame to every white car I see? No. Will I point at every white person I see and say, “ha-ha” like Nelson from the Simpons? No. Will I date white women? You better believe it baby. The fact of the matter, however, is we should follow Obama’s lead when it comes to humility. There have been numerous times when I’ve wanted Barack to give McCain the People’s Elbow. I think we’ve all wanted Barack to get a little hood to some degree when the red side attacked him. However, he showed restraint. Restraint is the word of the week Black America. Should he win, restrain yourself from running in the streets praising Jesus. Restrain yourself from going to the club and “poppin bottles” in the name of Obama (knowing full well the cable bill hasn’t been paid). Restrain yourselves Black America. You want to celebrate and still satisfy your inner-nigga? Watch Soul Plane. Period.

Look, should Senator Obama become President Obama, he’s got a lot of work to do. He’s inherited a terrible economy and an ongoing war. This isn’t something that is easily dealt with. We have lived in a fantasy world for the passed 20 months where we have let ourselves believe that the president has the power to change the course of the nation with a stroke of his pen, when in actuality that is not how U.S. government operates. He is not going to be able to solve all of the nation’s problems in a week, month, or even a year. With that, conservatives are going to be quick to attack him. Black America, now is the time to really band together. If we can “come together” to support R. Kelly or Michael Jackson, we for damn sure better come together and not turn our backs on the First Black President. We are so quick to build ourselves up only to turn our backs on each other when we achieve success. Please believe that if Obama becomes president it’s because Black America put him there. So…let’s protect our investment.

Niggas don’t fuck this up,

MachineGunDashy